i said don't evah

Mustaches for Kids

2008-11-20T16:21:00.003-05:00

For, not on, kids. Today at lunch my coworker told me about her friend and the M4K organization.

"Mustaches for Kids - Chicago hopes to raise over $15,000 for Chicago schools and win the National Mustaches for Kids DonorsChoose.org challenge during its 2008 Growing Season (Nov 13-Dec 13)."

I want to do that thing rich people do where they turn money into more money (and other goals)

2008-11-20T10:58:00.006-05:00

Today's title is in honor of 30 Rock being on tonight (sans Aniston!) and my own state of financial affairs. But that (the latteR) is just no fun. What I AM doing is working on stuff I either started awhile ago and didn't finish or told myself I would start.

1. I bought a frame and made a mat for my Magnetic Fields poster. The makeshift mat was made using the display paper in the frame and some red tissue paper. Am worried the red is overpowering, but it works at least for now.

2. Made pillow cover! (There are still two to go. One is an embroidery project started in '06!)

3. I am writing an article (for work, to practice my written French) about this story on how a MetroCard got two suspsected murders out on bail. Woo, technology. Woo for doing stuff.

"Europe Relaxes Rules on Sale of Ugly Fruits and Vegetables"

2008-11-13T09:36:00.001-05:00

Thank you, EU, for entertaining me this morning. They've eased up laws against oddly shaped produce, which lead to statements like this one:

“This marks a new dawn for the curvy cucumber and the knobbly carrot,” said Mariann Fischer Boel, European commissioner for agriculture, who argued that regulations were better left to market operators.

A new dawn, curvy cucumbers!

But curvy bananas still need to watch out:

The European Union is well known for its detailed regulations on agricultural items. Commission Regulation (EC) 2257/94, for example, states that bananas sold in Europe must be “free from malformation or abnormal curvature,” though Class 1 bananas can have “slight defects of shape,” and Class 2 bananas can have full “defects of shape.” Bananas were not covered in the ruling, so for now, these standards remain.

Crafted Obamania

2008-11-12T14:40:00.002-05:00

There's a post on Etsy today about Obama-related crafts, and my favorite is the Thinking of Barack, I mean, You card. The list also includes a soap that is made to resemble the president-elect, so that you can...really get your hands on him? Rub Obama all over your body? The same seller also has a candle that is an Obama + Buddha hybrid......"Available scented with Nag Champa or Unscented."

Barack-o-lanterns

2008-10-29T17:00:00.003-04:00

The key words for tonight's activities: pumpkins (Safeway prole-kins vs Whole Foods bourge-kins), knives, and festive booze. I'm going to try to make this pumpkin, the stencil for which was made by a duo who, coincidentally, designed a shirt I own. The shirt has narwhals on it.

There's also going to be some Tyra in there, and hopefully a youknowwhat for the Phillies!

Werthless?

2008-10-24T11:30:00.004-04:00

Last night I had some Yuengling and watched the Phillies flail, then fail. When Jayson Werth got picked off at first base (after having made an error in right field), I made my first sports pun...I won't say ever, but in a long time! See blog entry title for joke. Other important name commentary included talking about Evan Longoria every time he batted. I also recounted the story of how I broke a bat playing softball in Silver Spring in summer 2006.

I am putting the bar back where it was before game 1.

[NB I don't actually think he's worthless, but he does have some awful landing strip facial hair.]

Satorialist

2008-10-23T14:42:00.003-04:00

I was totally the American version of this little girl...

Haha funny

2008-10-23T09:59:00.003-04:00

Two stories that amused me recently:

Make DC Weird by Designing, Buying a T-shirt (WCP City Desk blog)
An English Country Stylist, Unrepentant (NYT)

Favorite excerpts:

1. From Jule, former colleague:

[O]ther cities with weird campaigns, they are more committed to their towns’ weirdness. "They have street performers," she offers as an example.
"So what we need are mimes?," I ask. "Yes," she says. 'Mimes."

"And maybe those people who look like they’re made out of gold, but they’re really not.'

"Yes," she says, "or maybe pewter. Anything metallic."

2) from NYT:

a. Keith Irvine turned 80 last week and threw himself a garage sale to celebrate. "A very elegant garage sale," he said dryly, raising silvery eyebrows.
b. Mr. Irvine can be balky. In the 1980s, he said he suffered a midlife crisis, which he expressed by building an addition to his early 19th-century farmhouse. The addition included a very grand ballroom, and did not include any input from his wife.
"It was very irritating," she said in a phone interview last week. Mrs. Irvine, who has written 13 books on architecture and decorative arts, took her revenge by threatening to have an image of the new wing engraved on expensive stationery emblazoned with the words "Keith’s Erection."

(Smar)Tripping Up

2008-10-22T10:05:00.004-04:00

When SmarTrip came out and then began expanding, I didn't pay much attention to it. I kept not paying much attention it even when I moved out of metro-less Georgetown. And I still don't have one! Which has been due to a) laziness b) using bus/metro to get rid of my coins and c) my desire and decision, as of spring, to find a new city. But now unless I move before January, WMATA, I think you have got me! They are eliminating paper transfers, which would pretty much make taking the bus twice as expensive since I use them round trip. According to the press release, "Only passengers who pay with SmarTrip will continue to be able to transfer from one bus to another for free and transfer from Metrorail to bus for the discounted 35¢ fare."

It also sort of makes me feel like a jerk because of this bit:

Eliminating paper transfers will save Metro about $350,000 a year for the cost of paper and printing, plus expenses associated with the repair and maintenance of the old transfer machines in stations. It also is expected to minimize fraud and abuse of paper transfers by individuals who sell or give away their transfers to other riders, and reduce assaults on bus operators by riders who have disputes with operators about transfers.

To my credit, I've reused a lot of these slips in crafts (woven lightswitch covers--maybe I should tell DCist?), but having a SmarTrip card is really just logical at this point.

Burst my bubble

2008-10-20T14:43:00.001-04:00

Somewhat impractical but amusing calendar idea for 2009:

Phanaticism

2008-10-20T11:01:00.005-04:00

The fact that the Phillies are playing in the World Series this year is just sort of crazy to me. It was made crazier by reading this other fact: "The age of the team combined with its history of adversity has earned them the distinction of having lost the most games of any team in the history of major league Baseball."

The last time the Phillies played in the World Series was over a decade ago (and when I knew the whole lineup), and their only victory was in 1980 (and when my parents went to see it). I have a T-shirt from then that declares them world champs, and while I am really just happy they've got to this point, I can't help but hope it's lucky. The other, silly, off-topic thing I just realized is that both teams names are guys's names, so that MLB heds like "Rays Earn Date with Phils" make me think of a guys in suits or uniforms on a double date eating at a candlelit table. Because while I enjoy baseball, experience has taught me not to take it too seriously.

The things we did and didn't buy

2008-10-16T10:00:00.007-04:00

I finally got myself this Prince-worthy umbrella:

I want these shoes:

Mysterious illegality

2008-10-14T11:29:00.006-04:00

On the bus to work this morning, I noticed the woman next to me had a beige water bottle with the word "illegal" printed on it. The idea of a beverage sloganing against something illicit piqued my interest, but it was awkward trying to read the rest of what was on there because the bottle was in the woman's lap. All I caught was "shouldbeillegal.com" and something about Facebook. The possibilities are endless!

I found one site thisshouldbeillegal.com that's about the DCRA, but if that were the right one I dunno why they'd take the time to mention Facebook. Urls such as "facebookstalkingshouldbeillegal.com" give an error message. Googling "should be illegal" + Facebook just turns up abortion stuff and one "Internet Explorer Version 6 Should be Illegal." My best guess is it's something about privacy, but maybe it's something better like "having 500 friends."

Zzzzzz (p.s. i miss my cat)

2008-10-01T16:02:00.006-04:00

Despite my constant state of drowsiness, I actually don't take that many naps. But I realized that some of my favorite Flickr photos are of wee ones -- babies and kittehs -- napping. Look! Cat is almost bigger than human (credit SouleMama) :

Crafty

2008-10-01T10:36:00.009-04:00

This past Sunday was Crafty Bastards, and despite the time crunch (only three weeks to prepare) I managed to have a lot of things ready and to sell a good number of them. Wooot. I had a lot of helpers (4!). I think the thing that made me most able to enjoy the day was having better prepared my display. Mom and I even bought some flowers, and I really liked the easel and canvas display I had for some hanger/organizers I made with wood from PA. I also spent more time on packaging, although that was only really for the notebooks.

This year, given the fact that I had been on the "waiting list" for over a month, I thought a lot more about the confidence factor that selling something handmade requires. I realized my CB application was flawed (as KW pointed out, didn't showcase my more unique stuff) and that they were trying to get new sellers, but being almost rejected was something of a blow. I had never gotten that kind of negative reaction to the things I make, and it was hard not to take it personally. In the same way, I felt much more inclined to really hawk my wares when I was confident that my setup looked good. And how goodgoodgood it feels to have people peer over your table and say how clever or cool they think something is. I'm just happy it worked out, and, for many reasons, I have tons of respect for people who do this full time.

Back to the start

2008-09-24T11:40:00.008-04:00

Since coming back from vacation, I haven't really been as into blogging. I've had lots of little anecdotes that I thought to relay, but the subject matter here feels maybe too aimless. I think I should focus on doing a food or crafts blog, or just combining them into "stuff I make." As it were that was the original intention with this one, and it's where I'm going now.

Things I have wanted to share:

1. I've had a fruitless quest for these green tea milk candies (that is, they taste like green tea ice cream) I bought in San Francisco. Apparently they are special edition and even Google is failing me. I found one online shop selling them, but it's British, and 2 pounds per bag means $4 each, plus 17.5 percent VAT, plus 6 pounds shipping and handling. Three bags of candy would cost me about $24!

2. When I finally went grocery shopping the other day, I happened to reach the bakery at just the right moment. I picked up a baguette while it was still warm, which has not happened to me since I was in Paris last year. Also, against all Harris Teeter overpriced cheese logic, I got a giant thing of brie for $4.27.

3. I have been making earrings nonstop since San Francisco in order to get ready for Crafty Bastards. I use regular glass and stone beads but make the rest from old magazines...which means cutting out strips, rolling while gluing them, varnishing, waiting, making. I have about 40 pairs right now--only problem is I have thus far neglected to buy the earring wires. Whoops. Crafty Bastards is this Sunday! I'm booth #68, back by Politics & Prose and an organic food stand.

4. I just had multiple glasses of wine at lunch. (Note: this is not the norm, just for people's pots de départ.) We had to finish the open bottles, then, and so I was encouraged to drink. Zzz.

5. Not related to food, but whatever: I have been having a ton of dreams lately. One the other day involved me saving a bunch of people, including my yoga teacher, from a bobcat. Otherwise, they keep including Mad Men characters.There's the one about Don Draper that..I've..told..some..people..about.. And I had one last night about Peggy in which the internal conflict seen on the show was manifested by her having basically a scarlet letter. Except it was a stamp on her forehead.

Upside down

2008-09-18T14:37:00.003-04:00

Last night, I did my first headstand. Granted I got help at first, but for at least a few seconds I was suspended upside down thanks to my own muscles et cetera. (I think the natural arch of my back makes it hard for me to balance in the pose.) Wooooo.

Also, I just learned that my yoga studio is wind powered.

Halloween Costume, September Update

2008-09-15T16:50:00.002-04:00

So I made my declaration awhile ago to dress as a Tina Fey variant for Halloween. That apparently makes me like Sarah Palin--gah!

"If you’re wondering what Sarah Palin thought about Tina Fey’s spot-on impression of her on last night’s season premiere of Saturday Night Live, Palin’s only comment was that she had once dressed up as Tina Fey for Halloween."

Except now maybe instead of just being Liz Lemon, I could be Fey as Palin as Fey as Palin.

Airplane

2008-09-11T09:54:00.003-04:00

On my flight from San Francisco to Denver, I was seated next to an airplane captain. This had never happened to me before, and I dunno how common of an occurrence it is. Anyway, he started talking to me, and I kept asking questions/quizzing him. He has over 35 years of experience (in addition to getting an MBA at some point). He also had just gotten back from a 12-hour flight from Hong Kong. Apparently they make it through these flights by using reserve pilots who come in after the four- and six-hour mark. He also extolled the virtues of water as a means of staying awake and feeling alright for so long.

The other story he offered, unsolicited, was about September 11. On that day he was flying from Paris to somewhere in the States, but they were forced to land in Halifax. Apparently they then sat on the runway for 12 hours, him all the while explaining what happened. Twwwelve houurrsss. Also, he said when he worked for United he used to fly the route of one of the planes and was sure he had piloted the same plane that crashed.

Scandalous fruit

2008-09-02T15:02:00.003-04:00

Oregonians don't know how funny their fruit is:

Rocky

2008-08-27T12:37:00.004-04:00

I'm at the airport in Denver. So far I've only counted one piece of Obama paraphernalia--I've seen more Mormons. (The girl behind me from DCA was going back to BYU, but she also had a flowery Chanel bag, lots of makeup, and big heels. Am confounded.) There was one guy who might have been a pro basketball player because he was like 7 feet tall. Also, I think the airport's white peaks look more circus-y than Rocky-y.

It has been "x" days since my last confession

2008-08-26T12:09:00.005-04:00

I haven't blogged in almost a week, which I think means I have committed a cardinal blogging sin. Um, oh well. Anyway, I don't really have any good reason other than that I've been keeping busy and doing stuff like "eight limb staff pose" (successfully!), eating fries, and remember the formula for the area of a circle (woo, GRE). I haven't even really baked, besides making a Julia Child clafoutis.

My point? Tomorrow I'm going on vacation for two weeks, so I again forgo this site except maybe to post photos of the Pacific Ocean or Multnomah Falls. Vacaaationnn!!

Clothes make the wo-man

2008-08-20T11:37:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I walked down Wisconsin Ave. on a mission to find and purchase the cardigan that a friend in PA has. It was not in stock, but lo, I found an interesting stand-in (in person it looks more denim-y and less gray). Anyway, in my mind, the top has this sort of prisoner/artist's smock aesthetic, and given my stature it looks considerably sack-ier on me than that model. But it still has this persona attached to it, in my mind, and I don't know that I'm quite living up to it:

me: i feel like i should be holding paintbrushes and a cigarette while wearing it

Sent at 11:28 AM on Wednesday

Sonia: you aren't?

Mad (Wo)men

2008-08-14T18:38:00.005-04:00

I am not really sure why this article about women and online advertising exists, considering it's nothing groundbreaking to expose that women go online and, you know, also buy stuff. My favorite part, though, is the fact that one adman interviewed is named Mr. Draper. His lines might as well be coming from Don himself:

"I love women. Women are more than half the population, and they do most of the shopping," said Tim Draper, the venture firm's co-founder and managing director. "We are constantly looking for more sites that cater to women."

On the street, in Lisner

2008-08-14T14:42:00.006-04:00

While walking to work this morning, I saw a man playing a harmonica whilst bicycling. In terms of impressiveness, it beats this sort of multitasking (and the dude didn't even have a holder for it).

Second, a vigilant (and awesommee) friend picked up tickets for Magnetic Fields here in DC in October! Given that we were both excited about the chance to see Stephin Merritt live, the tickets inspired a conversation about people, living or dead, whom we'd want to have coffee or other beverages with. Those named included Virginia Woolf for tea and TE Lawrence for some "tea laced with qat." (Anyone have any they want to add?) It also made me think about the few times when I've seen something I have long, long wanted to, e.g. "The Garden of Earthly Delights" at the Prado.

Postcard from my momma: utube

2008-08-11T15:32:00.003-04:00

An email from my mom about this video, subject line "Fw: utube - funny but not funny" :

Can you believe it Kim???!!!!!! I listened to my first utube video !! It is really funny. I had to share. I was "cracking up" watching it, althiough after a bit I felt a little nauseated, and I am a nurse! Tell me what you think.

Strawberries, downfall

2008-08-07T14:25:00.008-04:00

Tuesday night, on a whim, I made a strawberry tart. That is just what I do. Forgoing making dinner (I had some grocery store veggie sushi), I whipped up some pastry cream, made a pastry shell, and cut up a lot of berries. I guess the occasion was that the strawberries were buy-one-get-one-free, and I had a new tart pan with a slick removable bottom. The results, below, don't betray the fact that the cream soon went from solid-ish to relentlessly soupy:

The day's other events included lunch at a new Belgian restaurant (bread with good crust!) and my bonking my head on my mat/the floor at yoga while attempting "eight-limb staff pose." I think this photo of the pose, demonstrated by someone who apparently used to teach at my studio, will explain my face-floor collision:

Name game

2008-08-05T10:47:00.007-04:00

Today I've read two interesting articles about names and naming; the first in Slate (from last week) gives strange examples of people requesting legal changes and the latter in the NY Times visits the Ohio town of Knockemstiff (subject of an eponymous book). The former makes a Johnny Cash joke, and my favorite detail from the NYT story is that the online moniker for one of the interviewees is "Knockemstiffmom."

My favorite (English) professor was particularly into naming: here is his book. I got into it too, and continued writing papers about it, most appropriately for a Dickens class a few years later. Not that something like Hard Times is a very subtle book overall, but hello, school authorities named M'Choakumchild and Thomas Gradgrind. When applied to nonfiction, that is, actual people, good naming is a fine balance between creativity, snobbery, and absurdity. Forcing the name Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii on your kid is just unfair. Why not just Talula? Lulu? Cute! And then there are kids such as those in Robert Rodriguez's clan: Rocket, Racer, Rebel, and Rogue. I like your movies, RR, and love alliteration, but give me a break--like you did your daughter, Rhiannon. Or, for fairness's sake, why couldn't she be Rally or Roar or Relentless? To my 20-something, nonparent mind, it just reeks of forcing your own identity on your kid.

Place-naming doesn't seem to have to play by quite the same rules, because it's attached to something that doesn't have to go to school and get beat up after attendance is taken. At least, Americans have consistently given themselves more room to be literal. A quick Google search turned up Hot Coffee, Miss., Truth or Consequences, N.M, and Sugar Tit, S.C. The source of the first seems sort of obvious (some place with coffee), the New Mexico town renamed itself after a radio contest in 1950. As for Sugar Tit, apparently they want to give up the name (!). My hometown, Emmaus, Pa., has a straightforward Biblical origin, as do nearby Bethlehem, Nazareth, and Egypt. That does not, however, account for East Texas, Pa.

Bikes appear at Dupont Circle!

2008-08-04T09:15:00.008-04:00

For the past month or so, I've noticed what looked like a fancy bike rack next to the old Riggs bank at Dupont Circle. But there were never any bikes. Then today, for the first time, at about 8:45, there were four, each emblazoned with SmartBike DC. Not that I'm all that into biking (fear + discomfort), but somehow I hadn't heard anything about it.

They look like the old school bikes I sometimes see French people riding to work and less bulky than the Vélib bikes in Paris (at left). Judging from their online map of pickup and drop off spots, of which only 1/3 of which had bikes available as of posting, they are going to need to see expansion like the French version.

Two other things: first, it's sort of weird that they are operated by Clear Channel. Then again, what don't they own? Second, and most importantly, does this mean DOT is going to do something to make me feel safer as a cyclist???

I love you to the max

2008-07-31T13:22:00.007-04:00

In a blitz of non work-related activity and relative productivity, I started playing this video for background music. To say nothing of Dave Berman's already-lauded poetic prowess, titles the likes of "How Can I Love You (if You Won't Lie Down)" and "I'm Gonna Love the Hell out of You" make me smile pretty much any time.

That being said, I'd also like to point that there's a girl on YouTube who belly dances out of sync to Silver Jews songs and someone that put "Random Rules" over a montage from the 1986 Sean Connery-Christian Slater adaptation of The Name of the Rose. Videos of puppies and kittens aside, YouTube baffles me.

Balls?

2008-07-30T10:32:00.013-04:00

Last night, I went to see the Phillies play the Nationals, and this time there were no rain delays. The Phillies won (surprise!), and there were plenty of fellow fans, many of whom I suspect were from Jersey, to cheer them on. My seats, however, were with friends from work, that is, guys from Montélimar and Toulouse.

I encouraged them to complement their first baseball game viewing with some overpriced beer and hot dogs (next time, a half smoke). More importantly I had to explain all of the rules of baseball to them, in French (except stuff like "fly ball" and "RBI"). It was an interesting experience on two levels. First, I realized that I was explaining all the règles du jeu without really thinking about it--that is, I felt fluent. Moreover, I kept thinking how it felt good that I, a 20-something female, was explaining the ins and outs of a sport to a couple of 20-something males.

One of them followed pretty well because he knew a little bit about cricket. He asked a lot of questions, and I answered pretty much every one. It made me think back to when I was a golf caddie, and, not any more petite than I am now, no one asked for my opinion. There were a lot of other issues, such as people asking "Can you carry that [bag]?", but I didn't mind being mum on putting advice because I didn't really have any to dispense. I could carry clubs, check yardage, and banter, but I've never been much of a golfer. As someone who played softball for years and loved the lumbering old Vet, though, I was happy to spout off about strikes, errors, force outs, etc. Dontyouevah is also available to advise on football and basketball. No good on hockey or curling.

"Fascinating" photo from my Flickr.

8 1/2

2008-07-29T11:56:00.003-04:00

I was reading Vanity Fair's "International Best-Dressed List" article, which is full of bad puns (e.g. "she’s the Apfel of our eye"), expensive stuff, and preferred charities. For the latter, it's standard fare (UNICEF, breast cancer research), but then I got to Tilda Swinton.

At first I thought she was making fun of the interviewer, the specificity of her foundation sounded so whimsical: “The 8 and a Half Foundation, founded this year with Mark Cousins, to bring great world cinema to children on their eight-and-a-halfth birthdays.” Then I Googled, and no, it's real. Excuse me that my mind didn't jump directly to Fellini, but now I'm just trying to think of what I was watching when I was 8.5...and I'm pretty sure it was this.

Macaroooons

2008-07-28T11:28:00.006-04:00

After cobbling together a few recipes this weekend, I succeeded in making macaroons. (In my head, that sentence actually finishes with a "!!!".) Maybe next time they'll be pink or purple/rose or violet, but for now I did vanilla/chocolate.

Things I learned:
1. Almond flour is expensive (about $14 with tax).
1.5 Almond flour is worth it.
2. Leftover ganache is never a problem.

I'm looking online for recipes/recipe books, but not surprisingly the only macaroon-specific books I see are through French chain Fnac...So basically I'll just have to make it up as I go along + get better at converting from grams.

My outrageously beautiful Busby Berkeley dream #1: Macaroons

2008-07-25T11:51:00.007-04:00

I'm going to attempt to make macaroons (the almond, not coconut kind) this weekend. We'll see if that doesn't become a total disaster. Per the directions I've already got the egg whites sitting out in the fridge, and I'm going to be forced to pester someone at Whole Foods about almond flour. (Is there a bourgier request?) If I am successful in making anything vaguely resembling some of these, I will feel damn self-sufficient (left on my to-do list will be learning how to cartwheel..for real). If not, well, I'll have Batman and 2 Amys to console me.

Christmas in July

2008-07-24T15:46:00.009-04:00

I've blabbered to most of my friends already about my new toys: a MacBook and an iPod Touch. But given that it has been five years since I last bought a computer and knowing that the two iPods I've owned were, in order, a bulky hand-me-down and one of those tiny Shuffles...I feel fine gushing about my gadgets.

They arrived last night, and they are pretty! And shiny! I'll be at full speed with them once I can get the stuff (namely the music) transferred from my old, heavy-breathing Gateway. Tonight I plan on playing around with it and some of the programs I was so generously given (hello, Photoshop and Illustrator).

The only issue so far has been typing--first, on the iPod, the fingernails-to-touch-screen issue. Right now my nails are sort of long-- longer than the girl's in that linked demo/review and some are longer than in that photo-- and I definitely had to position my fingers in a weird way that looked like I was trying to type while some nail polish dried. (For the record, though, I don't think the design's misogynistic. ) I also seem to tilt le pod when I hold it and subsequently keep typing one letter to the side of what I'm aiming for. Lastly, the keys on the MacBook are also shallower than I am used to. All a matter of adjustment...

Idioms

2008-07-23T15:50:00.005-04:00

This link (with a Dutch domain) has list of "French expressions you won't learn in school." My favorites include:

Avoir des casseroles au cul: To be haunted by a scandal (literally: "to have saucepans hung on the ass")

Ça va chier des bulles: There'll be one hell of a row (literally: "It will shit bubbles")

Courir sur le haricot: Get one someone's nerves (literally: "to run on someone's bean")

Je te vois venir avec tes gros sabots: Now we are finally getting to the point (literally: "I see you coming with your big clogs")

Hey, you there with the lazy eye: turn it to me

2008-07-23T12:07:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I had a vision checkup. I usually go every 12 months, but this time I put it off because my vision hadn't really felt any worse. I only went because my prescription was expired, meaning I couldn't buy more contacts. Anyway, this was probably the most interesting eye appointment I've had since getting glasses in third grade (I am 24).

First, this was the first time since aforementioned glasses-getting that my vision did not get worse. IN FACT, the optometrist actually reduced my prescription from -4.75 to -4.5. This is majorly happy news. I had heard your vision eventually levels off or maybe even improves, but I had feared that I was on a Miltonian path. (Not that that'd be so bad, considering he wrote effing Paradise Lost while blind.)

Then, he explained that the reason I often close my left eye when reading for long periods of time is because I have slight exophoria or exotropia. (I'm not entirely clear on the difference between the two, but I think the latter is worse.) Basically, he said some of the muscles aren't as strong as they should be. I just don't want to end up with a truly lazy eye. On one hand it really makes me feel better knowing that there is a physical explanation for why I sometimes just can't keep focusing and why my depth perception is sometimes poor. (Really, in like 2000, a high school guidance counselor looked at some job aptitude test, saw that I wasn't great with judging distances, and told me I'd never make it as a juggler.) I turned down the optometrist's offer for a prism reading glass prescription, and apparently the condition can be improved with "vision therapy." Considering most insurance won't pay for ocular stuff, I'd venture to guess that treatment isn't covered...but we'll see what Davis Vision says. So please, if you eventually see me sporting a corrective eye patch, just call me Cap'n Kim.

France started using euros in 1999

2008-07-18T14:45:00.005-04:00

Unless I misread the scrolling text, the soda machine on the ground floor lists the price of a can in francs. I wouldn't be surprised if my eyes hadn't mislead me, given articles such as this one and my own experience seeing price tags in FRF.

Dessert first

2008-07-17T16:00:00.009-04:00

According to Erik Wemple, blogging about what you ate for breakfast is boring...but I don't think that puts tiered French desserts off-limits. The sweets in the caf today made me giddy. They served religieuses! These "nuns" weren't violet flavored like the La Durée pastry in the photo, but they were very, very, chocolate-y. There were also strawberry macaroons.

Crafty bastard

2008-07-17T14:54:00.004-04:00

Woot! I just sent in my application for 2008 Crafty Bastards. Today, of course, is the deadline--last year I somehow did it ahead of time. I revamped my mission statement to sound less dorky and hopefully succeeded (can't c+p because I managed to not save the exact version I sent).

I also updated my Etsy shop, which meant adding a couple new things and refreshing some old listings. I have been slow on the crafting front and, how do you say, need to get my ass in gear. This weekend's work will be fabric- and felt-focused. I've also have to buy hooks for jewelry/key hangers and varnish a bunch of things. Here's to a weekend at home.

Barnacles...no sea change

2008-07-17T11:24:00.004-04:00

She seems nice enough, but this woman and I could probably never be friends. Barnacles are just that divisive. (The article in that link kind of sucks, but I just wanted to point out that my feelings on the topic have appeared in print.)

Long weekend in NY

2008-07-16T14:41:00.006-04:00

Being in my office in July isn't especially demanding; once Bastille Day rolls around, most people are headed out on long (that is, often month-long) vacations. I took advantage of my second Independence Day this month to make visits in New York...saw Natalie, hung out with mom, and got to spend time with my ailing gramma.

She couldn't remember the word "sunflower" or one of my Alaskan cousins' names, but we had good conversations about her learning French, for example, while a math major at Brown. I hadn't realized how funny she is (my mom said last time she knocked on my grandma's door, she said "come in if you're gorgeous") or how deeply I have roots in Brooklyn (my grandpa and she both grew up there). But we spent yesterday in her nursing home, which is always at least mildly depressing. At lunch, there was one table of ladies who did not say a single word to one another. Where we were eating, two buddies criticized the taciturn grannies and another, more quarrelsome table and kept repeating that they themselves were "amiable." When people started leaving the dining area, gramma told me to "watch the parade." Afterwards, my mom (an RN) asked me never to put her in a home.

Le bon mot

2008-07-11T17:00:00.004-04:00

In the interest of being prepared, I made some flashcards from a vocab list in my GRE book. I did it for words I sort of knew or had an idea of but wasn't 100 percent right about. To help myself remember them I grouped them together, when applicable, as antonyms and synonyms. The biggest category by far (5 cards) was "deception." What does this say about my vocabulary?

Don't Take it Personal

2008-07-08T15:03:00.006-04:00

A girl on the bus back from Philly on Sunday started singing this song after someone else exclaimed she was having "the worst day ever." It made me remember how much I loved that song when I was 11 and wore vests like Monica's. I never had her giant cell phone, though.

Actual cute overload

2008-07-07T17:02:00.005-04:00

Cute is cute, and sweet is sweet. I like especially silly, often nonfunctional cute stuff such as this, this, and this. But the crap in this story about a lobster wedding motif just makes me gag. Especially because they were WRONG about lobsters mating for life. And because they inspired this sentence: "The painting has made the bridegroom as happy as a clam."

I hope for their honeymoon they bought each other matching khaki shorts with embroidered lobsters.

Blueberryfest: Many, many myrtilles

2008-07-07T15:24:00.008-04:00

The blueberries are ripening like crazy at my/my parent's house. I think we have 15 bushes altogether, and on Friday I picked 33 cups of berries from the six bushes in the backyard. (That's a one-time family record, fyi.) What do you do when you have thousands of blueberries? We had blueberry soup, blueberry cookies, blueberry cobbler, blueberry pancakes, blueberry tea, and of course the berries themselves. I somehow missed out on blueberry martinis.

My contribution was a blueberry tart loosely based on this recipe. I substituted in a graham cracker crust, and my dad guilted me into making the lemon curd from scratch. ("Your GRANDMA used to make the best gingerbread cake with lemon curd. I don't even know where to FIND lemon curd at the store.") The recipe for that part was pretty simple, and the mixing bowl arm fatigue was worth it because it was really, really good. Here's my tart:

Handed lemons

2008-07-02T15:50:00.005-04:00

Some bummer news today has me thinking a lot about the 20-something's condition and, in relation/solace, some favorite quotes. This one feels the most apt:

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. (Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar)

La meilleure boule à facette

2008-07-01T15:19:00.005-04:00

So I didn't blog about anything yesterday because I spent the morning actually working and the afternoon on a field trip, more or less. About 10 of us drove out, in two separate cars (which is another story, namely that I'm lucky to be alive) to the NASA Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md.

We went there to see "Science on a Sphere," which is a spherical (duh) screen that uses four projectors, a computer, and a Wiimote to show presentations. Basically, you can make this sphere look like Jupiter, Mars, the Moon, and so on, and you can show/track changes on earth like the melting and freezing of ice caps. Purchasing one will set you back about $250,000, apparently.

The videos were cool, in that "these planets remind me how small I am" way. I had to remember a lot of things I learned in grade school/high school (planetary order, Jupiter's moons, etc). The very mature deduction that we basically all came to, independently, is that this thing would make the world's best disco ball.

Just the facts, ma'am

2008-06-27T11:02:00.004-04:00

At first I thought this job posting was quite the oxymoron...fact checkers at Fox News, teehee. Then I reread (checked my facts) and realized the job is billed as Fact Writer. Which, really, is even better.

For anyone without a MediaBistro account, here's an excerpt from the listing:

Responsibilities include writing on-air facts and press conference quotes for daytime programming. Individuals must have strong writing skills, be able to handle multiple assignments and deadlines, and work well in a team atmosphere.

(Three posts and it's not even noon. The coffee is working.)

All tied up

2008-06-27T10:47:00.002-04:00

Stay classy, Sarko.

And taking names

2008-06-27T09:18:00.004-04:00

Manohla Dargis's review of Wanted makes it sound pretty much like what I would expect. Guns, post-Matrix effects, etc., and Angelina Jolie's character's too perfect name, Fox.

As Dargis says re: Jolie, "Few American actresses, especially those with such pin-skinny arms, can make beating a guy to the ground look so easy and, yeah, man, like fun." Here is where I maybe would have liked an Uma reference, because, hello, as much as Tarantino likes his obnoxious T&A closeups, he has some effing badass heroines. Stuntwoman-cum-actress Zoe Bell is also pretty great in Death Proof.

We suffer for fashion or whatever

2008-06-26T14:42:00.007-04:00

I thoroughly enjoyed this analysis of the pope's getups. Check him out in his throwback ermine cape and camauro (Benedict's looks decidedly more Christmas-y than Urban VII's). They can deny that his shoes are Prada all they want--I really can't judge, Holy Father, because I have been looking for cute red flats for a long time!

Also, this is a funny and fairly creepy quote : "'The pope, therefore, does not wear Prada, but Christ,' L'Osservatore said."

Cover Models

2008-06-25T16:19:00.007-04:00

My housemate Katie's copy of New York magazine just arrived. I don't really like to blog about politics, because, well, there is a ton of that already and I'm in Washington, but the magazine's cover this issue is pretty riiidicuyoolus. Holy spider vein-free old Republican manlegs. McCain and Obama -- just some bros at the beach, bra. Why, they look like they're gonna get up and throw a Frisbee around and toss back some Miller Lites!

Nice disclaimer: "Not really Obama's abs. Not really Obama either. And not McCain for that matter. But you knew that."

At least they put McCain in a tacky shirt. And he totally would be that guy who wears sneaker at the beach.

"Humour is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue."

2008-06-24T16:00:00.002-04:00

Yeah, Ms. Woolf, it's true. Today I felt proficient because I made a little pun in French. Discussing our attachés, who each work on a different branch of science and many of whom are leaving soon, I said "on est attaché à nos attachés" ("We're attached to our attachés.") That was my foolproof reasoning as to why we should have nice champagne and dessert going away parties for them...which we will actually undoubtedly have. Woot.

Mathcat

2008-06-20T16:12:00.003-04:00

Today I caught up on some LOLcats:

All quiet

2008-06-19T15:02:00.004-04:00

I've tried to be disciplined about posting every day, which isn't always easy when your blog lacks the coherence of ones such as Design*Sponge, BoingBoing, etc. (dare I add m4intern). But today I am not feeling especially talkative, and I just sat through a nice Thai lunch barely saying un mot. So, enjoy the rest of your Thursday!

Brits = better?

2008-06-18T15:33:00.005-04:00

I was on the British Embassy web site looking for their mailing address, when I noticed the job listings. I passed one along to Krista and noticed two lovely tidbits. First, this paragraph:

The British Embassy Network offers a competitive salary and a strong benefits package. This package includes medical, dental, vision, life, long term and short term disability insurance, a 401(k) retirement savings plan, generous vacation and leave time, and an enriching training package.

OK, so I get *one* of those things at my embassy. Jealousss. That's a nice deal! Also, your work can be described thusly:

Quick and accurate research skills using electronic and printed resources, together with an awareness of current affairs, in order to find information that will add value to the work of Her Majesty’s Government

(P.S. That crown image is from an Armwrestling competition web site....)

Reason no. 2349080 not to live in a group house

2008-06-17T09:33:00.005-04:00

Last night, I began the task of cleaning my fridge. I didn't even get to the "wiping down" part, because there was so much expired stuff to throw out. Fortunately today is trash day...although collection is a whole other can of worms.

Now that my clean freak housemate Tessa's somewhere in Paraguay with the Peace Corps, I thought I'd take the reins. She used to clean old stuff out pretty regularly, so I thought the job couldn't be too bad. Little did I know she never did the door. Seriously, I threw out stuff that expired in 2006. That was TWO YEARS AGO. I threw out/recycled maybe 20 containers, which meant cleaning them out first so that I could a) do maximal recycling b) make the bags less heavy.

Conclusions? I am ready to live in an apartment again, and Tessa's not as much of a clean freak as we had all thought.

Onwards and upwards

2008-06-16T15:16:00.015-04:00

So, my stomach and body in general are getting better; the salmonella is gone, and my cold's almost there! Woooo. Also, I bought tickets for my cousin's wedding in Portland in August, and now I need to book the train leg of the trip down to San Francisco. (Yes, that's approximately 18 hours on Amtrak.) It's remarkable how much the act of purchasing tickets makes things that much better.

Speaking of trips, I was in New York, and it was fun! My attitude about the city has progressed from a feeling of being totally overwhelmed to a desire to explore it all.

One thing I found: a preserved shark ("The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living"), the sale of which apparently made Damien Hirst the the world's second most expensive living artist after Jasper Johns. (He went on to claim 1st place by making a platinum cast of a human skull that is covered in 8,601 flawless - and, worth mentioning, "ethically sourced" - diamonds. It is aptly titled "For the Love of God" and made the rounds on BoingBoing, etc., last year) Qualifiers: I'm not really a fan of works like Marcel Duchamp's pissoir, this work isn't my favorite stuff either, and that many diamonds is ridiculous. But I have a strange appreciation for this shark, because I actually felt something when I saw it (unlike the pissoir). And I liked the title. At any rate, it does a lot more for me than most bowl o' fruit still lifes.

More photos on Flickr.

Go to hell, tomatoes

2008-06-11T22:17:00.004-04:00

My stomach felt funny for most of today, but, then again, my stomach often feels weird. So I dismissed it...until I couldn't any longer. Then I took my temperature (99.6), and I have deduced that I have salmonella. (The cause was most likely a tomato/mozzarella sandwich for lunch yesterday--stupid, I know.) Woooo, tomatoes. I never really liked you and detest you now.

Gawking - Lieberman

2008-06-10T12:18:00.004-04:00

Today I had my second Joe Lieberman sighting on the Georgetown campus. Short man. Not entirely sure why he was on campus either time (Google failed me!), considering that if he were going to teach a class it wouldn't be in the summer. I know he lives in the neighborhood..

Updates: losing stuff, videos, toilets

2008-06-06T14:27:00.002-04:00

So I have succeeded in misplacing my iPod (do I buy a nano or Touch?) and finding a better Magnetic Fields video. Also, they fixed the ISS toilet.

I daresay, OMFG

2008-06-06T11:22:00.002-04:00

From NYT:

The inquiry involving the Air Force was an effort to determine how four high-tech electrical nose cone fuses for Minuteman nuclear warheads were sent to Taiwan in place of helicopter batteries. The mistake was discovered in March — a year and a half after the mistaken shipment.

Mr. Gates made clear that most troubling was that the inquiry showed how little the Air Force had done to improve the security of the nuclear weapons infrastructure even after it was disclosed last year that a B-52 bomber had flown across the United States without anyone’s realizing that it was carrying six armed nuclear cruise missiles.

(Emphasis added.)

Weird 1 and 2

2008-06-05T16:21:00.002-04:00

Yesterday on the bus to Dupont Circle after work, I saw a man dressed as Abe Lincoln. He was just sauntering down the street in full gear. (Note that it was hot yesterday and had just poured.)

Also, to have something to listen to at work, I started listening to Magnetic Fields videos on YouTube. Note the verb choice. Once I started actually looking, I noticed this one. Ahh! On the positive side, I actually like this one.

Potty humor

2008-06-04T11:16:00.007-04:00

Forget liftoffs and all that tricky NASA stuff--the International Space Station is battling a toilet that's on the fritz. (The problem is "confined to the urine side of the commode," fortunately.) I first read coverage of it in French, just now, for work, and the wording is much amusing than it is in English:

Depuis la semaine dernière, l'unique cabinet de toilette ne fonctionne plus et les trois membres d'équipage de l'ISS sont obligés, depuis lors, de faire leurs besoins dans des sacs en plastique.

Translated:

Since last week the only toilet on board has stopped working, and in the meantime the three ISS team members have been forced to do their business in plastic bags.

While its title is clever, the English version of course makes no direct reference to the act of urination:

Crew members aboard the International Space Station have been fumbling with plastic bags since their zero-gravity toilet made "a loud noise" and stopped working properly last week.

I've always been impressed by the many things astronauts do, and it seems that peeing into a plastic bag in zero gravity will just have to be added to the list.

Blaming it on the rain

2008-06-04T09:42:00.007-04:00

Last night, I went to my first Nats game at their new stadium. It didn't start or end well.

I unthinkingly got on the D6 to Stadium-Armory, realized that said stadium didn't apply to where I was actually going, and got on the metro. Got off at Waterfront, like Tyler advised, but should have gotten off at Navy Yard; while walking, it started to pour. Then it rained some more.

Then, at the top of the fourth, they delayed the game. I ate peanuts, joked around, talked on the phone. Two hours later (about 10 p.m.), they resumed play. Some live-action bobblehead presidents ran a race; I was told it's rigged so that TR never wins (Wikipedia confirms it). "Jefferson" won. Maybe ten minutes later, the rain started again! Given that we had already patiently waited a few hours, we weren't going to stick around any longer. Don't think we get a rain check because they eventually finished the game. Apparently at some point they made an announcement that they were going to reimburse people $1.35 for the metro. (Can you hear my scoffing?)

From what I saw of it from under my umbrella, the stadium seems alright. Like most new(ish) baseball stadiums I've seen (Camden Yards + Citizens Bank Park) , it feels very open. Unrelated, but my hot dog made my stomach hurt. Finally, one of the weird things is that the women's restroom had no mirrors, just reflective plastic frames with Geico ads. I didn't really need one, despite feeling kind of disheveled from the rain, but that seemed weird to me.

Conclusion: I'll go back in July when the Phillies play.

Television Have I Loved

2008-06-03T14:56:00.008-04:00

Today I went to lunch at a cafeteria-style restaurant that used to be a Georgetown campus dining hall nicknamed "The Max" for its likeness to the hangout in Saved by the Bell. I can't in good conscience call it a cafeteria now, because it is so much nicer than it used to be. Gone are the 80s decor and, ooh, waffle machine; they've been replaced by giant salad bars, made-to-order food, and a really amazing array of gummy candies (Haribo + Kasugai).

Explaining the old dining hall's nickname to the two coworkers with me led to a discussion of Saved by the Bell and, subsequently, Clarissa Explains it All. I think besides my current fixation on 30 Rock and Project Runway (OK and a growing love of Gossip Girl...), I was most in love with TV when I was about 8 or 9. My parents only let me watch TV for about an hour a day, but I was undeniably influenced by Clarissa's fashion choices and had dreams about Zach. Granted Clarissa is rocking a pretty small outfit in the show's opening credits, but on the show it's refreshing to look at it and see a kid clearly looking like a kid.

Talking about Clarissa also brought up Matilda, another favorite girl character. Which also made me realize that those are two of my favorite names, the former also for literary ties. I blame my interest in names on one of my absolute favorite professors. Anddd speaking of professors, I ran into a preferred French professors at lunch.

Fix up, look sharp

2008-06-02T16:34:00.004-04:00

RE: "As has been said many times before on the forum, if you want to attract a hipster you can’t act as though you’re too excited about your 'life situation.'”

Hey doods, you can also try dousing yourself in the suds of some handmade Pabst soap.

RIP YSL

2008-06-02T11:09:00.004-04:00

Yves Saint Laurent died, and while it's a pretty huge deal as far as French culture goes, I realized in reading the obit that his muse has what it is maybe the best name ever: Loulou de la Falaise. (I'm into fashion enough to know a thing or two about YSL but not so much that I'd heard of her before). A cute but insouciant first name. Last name indicates breeding, but literally means "of the cliff."

Olsen Empire

2008-05-30T15:46:00.005-04:00

This just in: in addition to owning the rights to "How to Go From Adorable to (pseudo?) Heroin Chic," Mary-Kate and Ashley have a rug collection on sale at Target.com. Maybe next there will be branded vacuums to clean said rugs...or perhaps a line of light fixtures?

Quagga, quagmire

2008-05-28T11:26:00.006-04:00

This NYT endangered/extinct species piece makes me a) want to play scrabble b) read some E. O. Wilson. And while I'm at it I'll go watch some more Jeopardy! and maybe invest in a pocket protector. (For real though, the lady who has been kicking ass on Jeopardy! is kind of great but really weird--she collects armadillo-related doodads and toys shaped like their ancestors. Also, my pockets are safe.)

Speaking of environmental stuff, one of our neighbors stole our recycling bin again. The replacement will come in two weeks, and in the interim the official response is to trash my juice cartons (OK, wine bottles), newspapers, etc. Not exactly surprising, it's just that the trash situation outside my back fence is already dire. I'll spare you the rodent details.

Books

2008-05-23T10:37:00.003-04:00

Passed along by Krista:

Below is a list of 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing users. They sit on their shelf, perhaps to make their owner feel smart or well-rounded.

The meme comes with these instructions: Bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you started but didn’t finish, and underline the ones you read for school.

My main comment, besides that I have been reminded once more of how much I have left to read and that I apparently have a shorter attention span than I thought, is that this list doesn't include the likes of The Great Gatsby but there are TWO Ayn Rand titles. Krista and I also discussed that there should be a "saw the movie" category."

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged (gag)
Reading Lolita in Tehran : a memoir in books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked : the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian : a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead (gag)
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible : a novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno (and Purgatory and Paradise)
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes : a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake : a novel
Collapse : how societies choose to fail or succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an inquiry into values
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit (and the trilogy!)
In Cold Blood
White Teeth (but I have read On Beauty!)
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

Initial it

2008-05-23T09:33:00.007-04:00

For a brief period, I had a green backpack that featured my initials in white machine embroidery. I was one of those kids. The point of admitting to the monogram isn't to call out my nerdiness, which I think is fairly self-evident, but to talk about my initials themselves and their potential hazard.

My initials are KKR. When I had that backpack, a few people liked to point out if you covered up the top of the R with Sharpie, my bag would make me seem like an awful, racist person. This was generally followed by comments that I could never marry someone with a last name that began with K; my mom consoled me by saying I could take R as my middle initial. I've never even dated a Klein or Knauss, but the thought of marriage honestly comes up (in the vaguest terms possible!) whenever I see a K last name.

Like today, walking to work, I saw a nametag stuck to the sidewalk near Dupont Circle. If I remember correctly, dude's name was Drew Kleibrink. Thanks to the powers of Google, I concluded that he wouldn't have been a candidate anyway. (To be fair, belly and age aside, he has donated thousands of dollars to Obama and seems friendly.)

Then, after reading a Post article, I realized that its byline was shared by someone named Kimberly Kindy. Relevant disclosure: she and I have the same first name. This made me 1) wonder what her middle name was 2) if she was married 3) if she was as bubbly as her name.

My consolation? My brother's initials are MMR, which, I have noted since I was little and had to get shots, is the name of the vaccination against measles, mumps, and rubella.

Hideous footwear

2008-05-21T15:16:00.000-04:00

Worst shoes ever?

Critters

2008-05-21T14:47:00.006-04:00

I don't have much say other than I have a particularly strong desire to have a pet. In addition to missing Prufrock, there is yesterday's painfully cute hedgehog, talk of a puppeh party this weekend, lunch discussions about very old pets (mine in PA is 20), and kittens like this one. Where is my cute and/or cuddly sidekick?

omg

2008-05-20T22:42:00.001-04:00

LOLruses: Lovable lumps

2008-05-20T09:53:00.013-04:00

The NYT article about walruses is ripe with potential LOL cheezburger/bukkit jokes, especially considering that the cited expert exclaims in the lede, “They’re pussycats!” The NYT of course, does not go there.

Admittedly, I was pulled in because the photo caption begins with "lovable lumps"--"lump" being a nickname that has stuck with me and my sleepy ways since my sophomore year of college. Many others might find being called "lump-o" wildly unflattering, but my heart warms at statements such as "walruses remain perversely, lumpishly obscure."

Walruses, as it turns out, actually sound pretty fun, and the beginning the article itself (three pages! the Julia Allison treatment!) is pleasantly silly.

For example:

1. "I watched Sivuqaq, a 2,200-pound adult male, roll toward me like a gelatinous, mustachioed boulder..."

2."'Just push back on the snout with the palm of your hand and blow in its face,' Dr. Schusterman instructed. 'A walrus really likes to be blown in the face.'"

3. "Then I blew in his face, and he half-closed his eyes, and I huffed and puffed harder and he leaned into my breath, all the while bleating and grunting and snorting for more."

"And what about Mr. Lumpy Flounder himself?"

2008-05-16T12:18:00.006-04:00

Besides the fact that I can't help but extol Wii's virtues, I also enjoyed the NYT article about Wii Fit for this quote:

"The closest I get to serious exercise is flopping around at concerts like a lumpy, overeducated flounder."

The article does neglect how much of a workout games like boxing already are (although the video feature reveals that Wii Fit has a boxing component). I also don't think it mentions a price. Finally, I know that the physical rehab center where sister-in-law works uses Wii, a detail the likes of which could have added something.

The video is pretty fun, though, especially, because it makes me want to try the hula hooping and skiing. Sooo, do I buy one?

Addendum: Yeah, I just read too quickly. The article does include the price, which is $90 (plus the cost of a Wii itself, which NYT puts at $250).

Where is Alec Baldwin when I need him?

2008-05-16T11:46:00.004-04:00

I keep the office's newspapers and other publications in order, and today I noticed the top story from yesterday's Wall Street Journal was about GE looking to sell off it's "storied appliance unit." (Also, given that I don't regularly read WSJ, I noticed that their site has much more limited access than something like nytimes.com.)

News that GE wants to sell off its washers and dryers is such fodder for Jack Donaghy and his "Sheinhardt Wig Company" jokes.

(This post is a thinly veiled excuse for me to use news to whine about having to wait for next season.)

Procrasti-Nation: Babying all the cheeses

2008-05-15T14:09:00.004-04:00

This Slate article about procrastination is helping me do just that. There are a few choice quotes from people in various lines of work, including one from a guy I knew who played the mascot at Georgetown. It also includes disconcerting lines from people at the CIA and UN.

Here's one from Lindsey, an NFL cheerleader in Nashville, Tenn.:

One big thing we procrastinate on is tanning. We have to have color, because our uniforms are really light. But we have practices five times a week, and you don’t want to go in to practice smelling like tanning stuff—you’re already sweating, and you can’t spray and go to practice, anyhow, because it’ll all come off. It’s just disgusting. So you wait until 24 hours before the game, and then you go lay in a tanning bed for 10 to 12 minutes—just to get your body warm—and then you go right into the spray area to get sprayed. And then you can’t shower for eight hours, so you go home and you stink and you smell, and the next morning you’re all dark.

I also liked the cheesemonger (and the job title itself):

I hate doing maintenance work—cleaning compressors on refrigerators, that kind of thing. I always find a reason to do it later. … One thing I really enjoy doing is taking care of the cheese in the cave. I love going in there and babying all the cheeses, turning them over, making sure they have straw mats. … It’s a perfect way to kill some minutes at the store if I don’t feel like doing something more pressing. … Building and rebuilding the display is something I [also] get too into. It’s this weird Tetris game, it’s never perfect. I spent an hour or and hour-and-a-half every morning; I kind of obsess over it.

Consumption, and I don't mean TB

2008-05-15T11:31:00.005-04:00

I am cursed with a love of pretty things. I want:

1. tea towels, tea towels
2. pillows, pillows
3. pears (as said with an R. Kelly voice)
4. sunshine
5. people
6. bag
7. etc.

In related news:

My Halloween costume: status as of May 14

2008-05-14T15:28:00.004-04:00

In the course of Google Image Searching "Liz Lemon" for my costume, I discovered that there is a Liz Lemon-Swindle. She does religious paintings like the one at left (credit obv. is hers). Strangely perfect!

Update:

S: is that jesus?
S: because he's kind of hot

William Carlos Williams

2008-05-14T14:55:00.005-04:00

This is just to say
I chucked
the eggs
that had been
sitting
in the fridge
for weeks

and which you probably
were going
to scramble
for dinner
because you can't cook.

Forgive me
but they were
expired
and
the fridge
is so small.

Lost and not necessarily found

2008-05-14T10:00:00.003-04:00

I am a pretty observant person, and in some regards my mind's a steel trap, but I am a chronic loser of things. I put crap down and just forget what I did with it.

Sometimes, it's food--I'll take a few bites of a muffin, put it down, and find it half an hour later. (This clearly has the potential for being gross, but I've discovered that I leave snacks either on my desk, bedside table, or dresser, so no food stays un-found for too long.) I once lost a coat for over a year, only to find it in a suitcase. A boyfriend counseled my dad to buy me a larger iPod over a Shuffle not because of increased storage capacity, but because I would inevitably lose the tinier one. (My dad bought the Shuffle. To my credit it was once misplaced for a few weeks, but it is still with me, more than a year later, only because I always keep it in the same place.)

Fortunately, I've never lost anything terribly important or expensive (see: iPod), but it seems strange to me to feel so "with it" with some things and so absent-minded with others. I mostly just don't want to wind up as an old lady who points ointment on her toast and her dentures in juice.

My Halloween costume: status as of May 13

2008-05-13T16:11:00.005-04:00

No, it is not too early for me to be brainstorming. I already decided (in the shower one morning) that I am going to be Liz Lemon. While not really sure how to depict her other than by letting my hair grow a little, wearing my classes, and impersonating Cathy, I realized today that my must-have accessory will be a bag of Sabor de Soledad chips.

Suggestions, please, folks.

P.S. It may not always be accurate, but the minutia of Wikipedia can be great. "Liz has been seen signing her name on a check with her left hand^[21], adding items to her pros-and-cons list of Dennis with her left hand^[16], and Jack has referred to her "left-handedness"^[22]. Tina Fey is left-handed.^[23]" Also, did you know that Fey's middle name is Stamatina??

______ in Charge

2008-05-12T14:27:00.005-04:00

I was, from Thanksgiving until this past Friday, without a boss. That is more than five months working as an "assistante" without someone to assist (but not that I was counting). Now, as the wheels of bureaucracy continue slowly turning, I have a chef who is a little bit taller than I am and who has asked me to speak to him in English.

Taking into consideration me, my boss, and my boss's deputy, I think our sector is the shortest within our office. Those two are 5'5" max.

"Reader, I married him."

2008-05-09T12:48:00.002-04:00

P.S. I am most likely going to watch this later this afternoon, during the pie-baking.

VE Day blender blunders, etc.

2008-05-09T10:30:00.005-04:00

I had off from work yesterday for VE Day, and instead of updating from the comfort my bedroom or a nearby café (in true blogger style), I opted for laptop avoidance and laziness.

Highlights include sleeping late (duh); making a smoothie and fixing blender leak that left OJ all over counter, drawers, and floor; cleaning the kitchen in the wake of aforementioned smoothie problems; getting lunch somewhere other than the embassy caf (Teaism); paying a fortune to get a print framed; and engaging in a TVfest over Dogfish Head.

As great as it was to have the day off, it was mildly disorienting being put out of my routine like that. I'm taking a half day today (comp time for doing last weekend's Open House) to slouch around the house and make a lemon meringue pie for my parents' visit. I'll be going all out making a mother's day dinner.

Des restes

2008-05-07T13:28:00.002-04:00

What is worse than veal brain? Leftover veal brain. Served today in the cafeteria.

"Is this some radical new therapy?"

2008-05-07T09:53:00.010-04:00

I'm not entirely sure why this NYT article about creating new habits appeared in Sunday's Business section, but the topic is interesting enough. Personally I've changed a lot especially within the past year and, woo for my "parallel synaptic paths," I've established new habits , patterns, and all of that.

Honestly, what stuck out to me amidst all the standard stuff about how learning new things wards off dementia was this line: "She recommends practicing a Japanese technique called kaizen, which calls for tiny, continuous improvements."

What immediately came to mind was the 1991 Bill Murray movie What About Bob? and the "baby steps" credo espoused by Richard Dreyfuss's character, shrink Dr. Leo Marvin. (I watched this one, Groundhog Day, and Rushmore innumerable times with a high school boyfriend.) So basically, I know that it's important to keep trying new stuff, that baby steps aren't a bad idea even if the shrink is crazy too, and that I should probably finally set up my own Netflix account because I now have an overwhelming urge to rewatch Bill Murray movies.

Bad brains

2008-05-06T16:59:00.003-04:00

They served veal brain in the cafeteria today. Watch out for cervelle de veau (other questionable offerings there include tongue). Eric, who was visiting for lunch, tried it! He said it was good, but he "couldn't eat a whole thing."

One is the loneliest number: American LOLparel

2008-05-06T11:15:00.007-04:00

It took me a long time to have even one blog, but now, it appears, I have two. Born of a fondness for "I has a flavor" captions and a mixture of amusement and revulsion by AA styling, I give you LOLAmericanApparel, or American LOLparel.

Please do offer alternative capshuns and submissions (the latter can be sent to lolamericanapparel@gmail.com)

Bill Clinton's groove

2008-05-05T16:13:00.008-04:00

I have no idea how the movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back did in box offices, but 10 years after its release (thanks IMDb) it has remained embedded in the vernacular if only for its title. The lead article on nytimes.com right now is "How Bill Clinton Got His Groove Back." Is there a previous source I don't know about? The Wikipedia entry for the movie says "See also: Female sex tourism." Helloo, Taye Diggs.

Love is like a bottle of gin

2008-05-05T14:12:00.008-04:00

The graphic for yesterday's Modern Love column, which was by essay contest winner and college junior Marguerite Fields, sums up the content better than illustrations sometimes do. Find it here.

The idea, in short:

And even when I don’t want him to stay — even when he and I find each other as strangers and remain strangers until we stop doing whatever it is we are doing — I still want to believe that two people can meet and like each other well enough to stay together exclusively, without the introduction of some 1960s rhetoric about free love or other noncommittal slogans.

This article is about 120,908,325 times more insightful than any Laura Sessions Stepp article or book has ever been--and it comes from a girl who hasn't even graduated yet. Pure gold:

Then there was the installer of soy insulation who cooked soggy pasta and made me watch football and whimpered and kicked in his sleep. In the spring there was the guy 12 years older than me who shared an apartment overlooking Tompkins Square Park with an antediluvian man who walked around in graying long underwear.

Unfortunately the end is kind of weak, but overall it's one of the more refreshing things I've read there in awhile.

It also makes me think of the last New Yorker cover, which had the gall to include "Mother's Day" in the title--the image of a woman drooling over babies that are enclosed as if in a pet store, while the man whose hand she is holding is desperately trying to lurch her away. It could have felt more like a comment on noncommittal guys if the desperate woman and the babies hadn't been the ones in the foreground. Blah.

Avoid Champlain St. NW at night

2008-05-02T13:25:00.004-04:00

This depressing City Paper cover story just came out about a guy Aaron had mentioned to me at least a few days ago. Christopher Savage had just gotten to D.C. and started working at the Black Cat, and he was mugged and beaten a few blocks from my house and near the City Paper office. After having been in town less than a week, he died (toxicology reports "are pending"). For how much shit some people give the paper, the story itself is heartfelt (Jason's good at that) and says it all pretty well.

I realize there's plenty of crime in D.C., and Savage's death certainly isn't the only one worth talking about. I mention it here because it hits literally close to home.

I rarely feel unsafe, but Champlain near Kalorama has always made me uncomfortable. Last year I learned it's in a police "hot zone." Champlain dead ends near Marie Reed, which I don't think helps things. (Less traffic flow? It doesn't seem to matter that the MPDC third district station is on V between 16th and 17th.) The fact that Savage was ganged up on by a bunch of kids there isn't so surprising to me, unfortunately, just based on stories I've heard from other people. My boss when I worked at CP had been beaten up by a group of teens, too, nearby.

Fabulous muscles

2008-05-02T11:03:00.003-04:00

Last night I tried a free Thai boxing (muy thai) class with MC. My yoga studio has been closed for a few days for a relocation, and I won't be able to go tonight because of the big reception. I'd always wanted to try some sort of martial arts class, and my elbows and I definitely have more respect for boxers now, be they Thai or otherwise.

I paired up with an athletic woman who was about my size, and we spent the better part of an hour jabbing, elbowing, and kicking at one another. If you suffer from "noodle arms" (as I have dubbed my own), this is the workout for you. We didn't really spar, but that doesn't stop roundhouse kicks from feeling pretty badass.

Portes ouvertes, oh penoose

2008-05-01T14:31:00.011-04:00

This Saturday, my friend/coworker and I are going to be staffing a booth at the embassy's open house. (Let me say now that "open house" is my new favorite English expression to say with a French accent, because it comes out sounding like "oh penoose.") She and I are two of three Americans on staff, although she has dual citizenship. Oh, to be able to talk about scientific diplomacy in Charlotte Gainsbourg's voice! I will probably be able to offer French snacks, though, and pins at the very least. And I designed our brochure.

If you're in DC, this is the EU site for the embassy open houses. Hopefully the weather will be good. At any rate, no matter your location or forecast, I hope you can enjoy as much as I did the discovery that Melle Gainsbourg starred in a 1996 version of Jane Eyre.

Painting and ongoing efforts

2008-04-30T09:50:00.000-04:00

I am really happy with these two little paintings I finished last night. They are hanging in my bathroom over a set of big holes. The dingy walls in my (rented, old) house have so many gashes, and without repainting, spackling can only do so much.

The other project has been cleaning up the back yard; Tyler helped me weed (for 5 hours) and put down weed cover, and Aaron eventually hauled away the wood pile that appeared out of nowhere. Now we need mulch and a few plants, and the backyard will no longer be a rat haven or source of shame/disgust. Expect invitations to events on the backporch.

It's only time

2008-04-29T10:53:00.000-04:00

Today is my parents' 30th wedding anniversary. In addition obviously to being grateful that I'm around, I'd like to thank them for letting me know it is possible to make something good work for so long. Good job, E&E.

Strained and sprained

2008-04-28T16:16:00.000-04:00

Today hasn't been a very good day, and the rain isn't helping. Also, I think I sprained my thumb (it is sore and puffy), but the only cause I can think of is pie-related...which is just ridiculous.

Sort of related: Sonia once left this on my voicemail.